The Sandwich Generation

At a time when some people want to retire, their finances, time and energy are spent on their elderly parents as well as their own children and/or grandchildren. These people are too often caught in the middle of extra responsibilities from the other generations and tend to postpone their own relaxing retirement. Or if they have already retired, they can’t enjoy themselves because of pressing family obligations.
These people are part of the Sandwich Generation. Someone once said, “I feel like the baloney between two slices of bread.” When you feel the pressures from both sides, you must step back and reassess your situation. With parents living longer and adult children returning home often with their own children because of the struggling economy, what can you do?
You must make a plan that allows you to maintain free time to yourself and not be seen as an uncompensated, always available babysitter. You’ve raised your children; now they must raise their own. Arrange to keep your grandchildren on occasions as long as your children understand that the primary responsibility must be theirs. Some adult children assume Grandma is always available and they don’t bother to politely ask for compensated babysitting services.
Also find activities at a senior center or with other relatives for your elderly parents so that you are not totally responsible for them 24/7. If they are unable to go out because of health issues, have a trusted relative or friend stay with your parents so that you may have free time to yourself. Many cities and religious communities offer these types of services.
The caregiver who does not take care of herself wears out and will then need a caregiver of her own. This would apply to men also; but we know in our society the care giving usually falls to the woman regardless of whose parents are in need.