My daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter came for a quick visit this weekend to see my mother who has been ill again. This put the four generations (mother, daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter) in the same room at the same time. Alas, no pictures this time because Mother is not up to a picture taking session. At her age, we take what we can get without embarrassing her.
It was fun to go through some of the family photos with Mother asking her great-granddaughter to identify the people in the old pictures. She did a good job of recognizing us when we were much younger. I discovered a picture of my grandmother when she was 16 years old. Mother said she looked like me at that age. I also found a picture of my father’s father and uncles in an old photo. Daddy had labeled the people in the photo. This will help with my genealogy study.
Soon, very soon, I will have to go through all the old family pictures to identify and label each one before no one is left to know who is who. My husband and I have threatened to do the same with our own extensive photo collection for some time. But we are so good at procrastinating. Shame, shame on us.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
The Sandwich Generation Squeeze
My mother is back in the hospital for the third time in a month and a half; I have health issues, minor ones thank goodness, that I must address now; and I’m scheduled to babysit our five year old granddaughter in about a week. Taking one day at a time, doing some deep breathing, reading snatches of a book purely for escapism, getting some exercise and trying to get enough rest is all I can do for now. I don’t know when my responsibilities will collide, but I can’t worry about it for now.
I will say that I am one of the lucky members of this sandwich generation. I do have a sister who is very instrumental in taking care of our mother. On one occasion, my husband and I were traveling a great distance to take care of his father, when Mother had to go into the hospital. Sis took care of that situation. She and I try to coordinate our schedules so that Mother is taken care of by one of us. But we do have a couple of family members and a friend we can call upon for a very short term backup if we are desperate enough.
Sis and I have to be prepared for the inevitable. After all, Mother is 88 ½ years old and in poor health. Fortunately Sis and I have already agreed on most of the major details but we have to write our plans down. It is very difficult to think of everything while under stress. With just the two of us and our children handling everything, we won’t have any conflicts to handle. Everything worked out beautifully when we had to handle our father’s services.
I also have a husband who is more than willing to take over the babysitting duties if I am unable to do so myself. Once he had to babysit for a couple of days by himself because I had a health issue to resolve. He did a great job, but he was worn out. And our granddaughter was thrilled because her grandfather was in charge. Of course, she was. She can get away with a few things with him.
Being part of the Sandwich Generation can be daunting at times. But there are many blessings. We've enjoyed the times that our four generations have been in the same place at the same time. And we treasure the numerous precious pictures that prove it.
I will say that I am one of the lucky members of this sandwich generation. I do have a sister who is very instrumental in taking care of our mother. On one occasion, my husband and I were traveling a great distance to take care of his father, when Mother had to go into the hospital. Sis took care of that situation. She and I try to coordinate our schedules so that Mother is taken care of by one of us. But we do have a couple of family members and a friend we can call upon for a very short term backup if we are desperate enough.
Sis and I have to be prepared for the inevitable. After all, Mother is 88 ½ years old and in poor health. Fortunately Sis and I have already agreed on most of the major details but we have to write our plans down. It is very difficult to think of everything while under stress. With just the two of us and our children handling everything, we won’t have any conflicts to handle. Everything worked out beautifully when we had to handle our father’s services.
I also have a husband who is more than willing to take over the babysitting duties if I am unable to do so myself. Once he had to babysit for a couple of days by himself because I had a health issue to resolve. He did a great job, but he was worn out. And our granddaughter was thrilled because her grandfather was in charge. Of course, she was. She can get away with a few things with him.
Being part of the Sandwich Generation can be daunting at times. But there are many blessings. We've enjoyed the times that our four generations have been in the same place at the same time. And we treasure the numerous precious pictures that prove it.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
More exercise please
As a retired senior, I am watching the Olympics with a sigh. Knowing that I could not compete in any of the events made me just a little bit envious about the energetic young people who are competing. Then I saw Dara Torres at age 41 win a silver medal in her swimming event. She has won three silver medals and is older than the combined ages of the gold and bronze winners of one of the events. I also caught a glimpse of a gray haired gentleman preparing to compete in an Olympic sailing event after he failed to win a medal 40 years ago. And I believe that at least one of the female marathon runners is in her late thirties. I enjoy cheering for the older Olympic competitors. Yeh, yeh, I also cheer for the younger ones and competitors from other countries. Who am I kidding? I truly enjoy the games.
My husband, son and I were happy to attend the Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia in 1996. Yes, we were there, but in bed, when the bomb went off. That did not diminish our excitement in watching the games and talking to people from other countries. We could not afford to go to Sidney, Australia in 2000 or to Beijing, China this year. Maybe we can go to London, England in 2012. If not, there is always television.
But these games are encouraging me to get up and get moving. The longer I sit, the stiffer I get. The only exercise that I’ve had lately has been on the golf course. I am becoming a nut about the game. Imagine, me, a former anti-golf person enjoying the game as much as I am. The main reasons are (1) fresh air and exercise, (2) fun even if I’m not good at golf, (3) playing at any age, (4) hubby and I play together, and (5) the friendly people on the golf courses.
When the weather is too cold for me to play, I will do country line dancing, Tai Chi, walk and swim at the recreation center.
Check with your doctor first, but you also can be more physically active. If you are not a member of a recreation center or a YM or YWCA, try joining one. If you are not near one or your budget won’t allow membership, then try walking at a mall or on your street. Get a friend or partner to join you. Chair exercises help alleviate stiffness and most seniors can do it. Bowling or dancing with friends on a bi-weekly basis and lifting weights such as small barbells (use soup cans if barbells aren’t handy.) may help you physically.
As we get older, we must seek out physical activities that will keep us healthy and happy. And don’t forget to exercise your brain. I will discuss mental exercises later.
My husband, son and I were happy to attend the Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia in 1996. Yes, we were there, but in bed, when the bomb went off. That did not diminish our excitement in watching the games and talking to people from other countries. We could not afford to go to Sidney, Australia in 2000 or to Beijing, China this year. Maybe we can go to London, England in 2012. If not, there is always television.
But these games are encouraging me to get up and get moving. The longer I sit, the stiffer I get. The only exercise that I’ve had lately has been on the golf course. I am becoming a nut about the game. Imagine, me, a former anti-golf person enjoying the game as much as I am. The main reasons are (1) fresh air and exercise, (2) fun even if I’m not good at golf, (3) playing at any age, (4) hubby and I play together, and (5) the friendly people on the golf courses.
When the weather is too cold for me to play, I will do country line dancing, Tai Chi, walk and swim at the recreation center.
Check with your doctor first, but you also can be more physically active. If you are not a member of a recreation center or a YM or YWCA, try joining one. If you are not near one or your budget won’t allow membership, then try walking at a mall or on your street. Get a friend or partner to join you. Chair exercises help alleviate stiffness and most seniors can do it. Bowling or dancing with friends on a bi-weekly basis and lifting weights such as small barbells (use soup cans if barbells aren’t handy.) may help you physically.
As we get older, we must seek out physical activities that will keep us healthy and happy. And don’t forget to exercise your brain. I will discuss mental exercises later.
Friday, August 15, 2008
The Workbook Was Worth the Struggle
As a retiree, I now have time to devote myself to the craft of writing, my favorite hobby. Last night I completed writing the workbook that will accompany the anthology, "It’s Worth the Struggle: Inspiration for Contemporary Writers." The words of the essayists included in our anthology inspired me to write the workbook. Using a direct quote from each of the writers, I developed a task to accompany each quote. Writers can use the lined pages in the notebook to complete the tasks. Hopefully, these tasks will encourage writers to write with more confidence.
My initial effort excited my fellow editors and I made an all-out effort to produce the best workbook that I could write. I can’t describe how ecstatic I am over the results. The completed workbook manuscript is now in the hands of the other editors. I hold my breath that this is what they want. Who am I kidding? I am very happy with the results and I know they will like it. Even if they have to make a few editorial changes, they will like what I have done. YOU GO, GIRL!
My initial effort excited my fellow editors and I made an all-out effort to produce the best workbook that I could write. I can’t describe how ecstatic I am over the results. The completed workbook manuscript is now in the hands of the other editors. I hold my breath that this is what they want. Who am I kidding? I am very happy with the results and I know they will like it. Even if they have to make a few editorial changes, they will like what I have done. YOU GO, GIRL!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Pass It On
The talents you have should not be lost or forgotten. This can only be done if you pass it on. In other words, teach the next generation. My grandmother started making quilts for her granddaughters but didn’t finish before she passed away. None of us learned to quilt. How sad.
Photography has always been important to our family and many of my cousins have continued the tradition of taking pictures at all family reunions. My eight year old nephew is also very good at taking pictures during special occasions.
My father and mother danced together most of their adult lives. I remember the day Daddy said to his two beloved daughters, “I’m going to teach you girls how to dance. We’re not having any wallflowers in this house.”
I quickly learned to follow his smooth dance steps. My younger sister was still young enough to stand on his feet while he taught her to social dance, waltz and cha cha. My sister and I, in turn, taught our children to dance. Our grandchildren dance and, of course, added the hustle and a few other modern dances to their repertoire.
I know how to crochet simple items and have made afghans for my granddaughter and her doll. I still can’t believe my very active granddaughter, at the age of three and a half, would sit still for an hour at a time to watch me crochet. At five, she still does. She has shown an interest in doing simple crafts and I am teaching her how.
If you love music, pass that appreciation on. Expose the younger generation to various types of music such as jazz, country, classical as well as music from other cultures. Take the children to concerts, plays, zoos, museums and libraries. Help them learn to appreciate the arts. Remember, you are retired. You have some time to pass on a legacy of culture to the younger generation. And please allow them to show you what they know.
Photography has always been important to our family and many of my cousins have continued the tradition of taking pictures at all family reunions. My eight year old nephew is also very good at taking pictures during special occasions.
My father and mother danced together most of their adult lives. I remember the day Daddy said to his two beloved daughters, “I’m going to teach you girls how to dance. We’re not having any wallflowers in this house.”
I quickly learned to follow his smooth dance steps. My younger sister was still young enough to stand on his feet while he taught her to social dance, waltz and cha cha. My sister and I, in turn, taught our children to dance. Our grandchildren dance and, of course, added the hustle and a few other modern dances to their repertoire.
I know how to crochet simple items and have made afghans for my granddaughter and her doll. I still can’t believe my very active granddaughter, at the age of three and a half, would sit still for an hour at a time to watch me crochet. At five, she still does. She has shown an interest in doing simple crafts and I am teaching her how.
If you love music, pass that appreciation on. Expose the younger generation to various types of music such as jazz, country, classical as well as music from other cultures. Take the children to concerts, plays, zoos, museums and libraries. Help them learn to appreciate the arts. Remember, you are retired. You have some time to pass on a legacy of culture to the younger generation. And please allow them to show you what they know.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
We Gather Together
When you have more than one generation together for a short visit, during a long stay or because of a permanent arrangement, there are precautions you should take. Children and adult medications don’t mix. Be sure that you keep grandma’s, grandpa’s and your own medications out of reach of younger family members. Remember, they can climb. And it never hurts to caution the youngsters that they shouldn’t touch anyone else’s medicine.
Serving meals for multiple generations can also be difficult because of the special dietary needs of the elderly and the finicky taste buds of the young. Engage the children in selecting some menu items and help them prepare the easier dishes. They could even prepare some of the food for their grandparents. The children could learn to fix meals to freeze for their grandparents to eat at a later time. This will help the children feel special and also encourages the children to develop empathy for others.
Whenever I visited my invalid father-in-law who lived over 600 miles from us, I would spend one day preparing five or six of his favorite meals. Then I would freeze meal size portions so that he would have food for a couple of months after we returned home. Of course, other family members did the same thing so that he was never without food.
The noise level of grandchildren can be a little overwhelming for the elderly so youngsters should be taught to “Keep it down.” Find quieter activities for the children during the old folks' naptime. But when the grandparents are awake – and willing – the children could play dominoes, checkers, card games and board games with them. They can also read to their elders and/or their elders could read to them.
It takes a little work to have several generations living together successfully. But multi-generational living can be good for all concerned.
Serving meals for multiple generations can also be difficult because of the special dietary needs of the elderly and the finicky taste buds of the young. Engage the children in selecting some menu items and help them prepare the easier dishes. They could even prepare some of the food for their grandparents. The children could learn to fix meals to freeze for their grandparents to eat at a later time. This will help the children feel special and also encourages the children to develop empathy for others.
Whenever I visited my invalid father-in-law who lived over 600 miles from us, I would spend one day preparing five or six of his favorite meals. Then I would freeze meal size portions so that he would have food for a couple of months after we returned home. Of course, other family members did the same thing so that he was never without food.
The noise level of grandchildren can be a little overwhelming for the elderly so youngsters should be taught to “Keep it down.” Find quieter activities for the children during the old folks' naptime. But when the grandparents are awake – and willing – the children could play dominoes, checkers, card games and board games with them. They can also read to their elders and/or their elders could read to them.
It takes a little work to have several generations living together successfully. But multi-generational living can be good for all concerned.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Picture This
When you are with family members, don't miss an opportunity to take pictures. Be sure to record the date, time, place, event (if special) and full names of people in the photos. Don't assume you'll remember the who, what, where and why of all your pictures. Memories fade. Besides you may not be there to tell your children and grandchildren about your pictures.
If you have not yet organized your many photos in albums, you should do so as soon as possible. Empty those envelopes and shoe boxes of photos starting with your most recent photos because your memory of the recent photos is fresher. Put the photos in albums and label them. I have seen some albums with stories next to many of the pictures. Not all photos are worth salvalging. But select carefully. Instead of throwing out duplicates or unwanted photos, offer them to other family members.
Not sure of how to organize photos? Try choosing a theme for each section of an album, if not the entire album. Themes such as (a) Vacation Highlights, (b) Children at Play, (c) Family Birthdays or (d) Family Group Photos for your family genealogy study may help you get started organizing your photos. Or you can put your pictures in chronological order.
Of course, people who use digital cameras can print their pictures for albums and/or save their pictures on DVDs or on zip drives. On that, I can't give you any suggestions. After all, I'm just now getting into blogging. . . and having a great time doing it.
If you have not yet organized your many photos in albums, you should do so as soon as possible. Empty those envelopes and shoe boxes of photos starting with your most recent photos because your memory of the recent photos is fresher. Put the photos in albums and label them. I have seen some albums with stories next to many of the pictures. Not all photos are worth salvalging. But select carefully. Instead of throwing out duplicates or unwanted photos, offer them to other family members.
Not sure of how to organize photos? Try choosing a theme for each section of an album, if not the entire album. Themes such as (a) Vacation Highlights, (b) Children at Play, (c) Family Birthdays or (d) Family Group Photos for your family genealogy study may help you get started organizing your photos. Or you can put your pictures in chronological order.
Of course, people who use digital cameras can print their pictures for albums and/or save their pictures on DVDs or on zip drives. On that, I can't give you any suggestions. After all, I'm just now getting into blogging. . . and having a great time doing it.
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