Now that you're retired--or even while you're considering retirement--think about studying your family's genealogy. Do the study before you lose any more older members of the family--and before you forget what you know about your family.
Start with yourself and what you know about your family. Then with permission, tape record interviews with the older generation and younger ones who remember family facts and stories. Prepare questions in advance, but let their answers guide your subsequent questions.
Also take notes during the interview. (For example: What was the interviewees reactions to certain questions? What unfamiliar names and places were mentioned during the interview?
Take a class or attend workshops on genealogy. Join a genealogy group to gain insight into achieving success in your research. Learn to organize your findings immediately. Make copies of all documents and make a computer back-up of the written data. Decide how you want to display the results. Will you produce a printed book or do you prefer a folder with room in the back for adding future generations?
My genealogy study was very haphazard in the beginning because I had no idea what I was doing. After attending several workshops and classes and joining a genealogy society, I did things differently. My research has helped me go back four generations on one side of the family and five generations on the other side. My research is not yet complete but I'm enjoying the findings. I'm even making plans to visit the states where my paternal and maternal parents and grandparents were born. Hopefully my grandchildren and great-grandchildren will take an interest in our genealogy and continue my work.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Meals Have Changed
Even though I enjoy cooking there are some days when I’d rather not be bothered. I’ve gotten into the habit of occasionally cooking several meals at once using the oven, stove top and microwave. But even this can be tiresome. Eating out every day is not in our budget, nor is it good for our health. But when we do eat out, we prefer to eat our heavier meal during the lunch hour. Many restaurants offer smaller lunch meals at a cheaper price. And, of course, I use coupons and/or senior discounts to cut the cost even more.
Our evening meals are much lighter. Now we don’t feel as sluggish at night. What may seem obvious to some people, simple didn’t register with me at first. Now, even when we eat at home, we much prefer to eat our heavier meals earlier in the day.
I’ve always been a traditional cook, never straying far from the standard meats, vegetables and seasonings. Learning to use less salt was easy. However, experimenting with different vegetables and spices hasn’t been easy for me.
My husband, bless his heart, is much more welling to experiment than I am. He eats what I put in front of him and has been brave enough to make a few suggestions. One of the most important changes is the introduction of broiled or grilled fresh salmon. (You mean salmon doesn’t grow in a can?) We like fresh salmon so much that we try to have some at least three to four times a month. This is an easy dish. Lemon juice and Mrs. Dash put on the salmon just before cooking is what I first used. We can very the flavor with other spices. I don’t even buy canned salmon anymore.
Now I’m trying to decide what new dish to try next? At least I know hubby will try it. As a matter of fact, he may even help me cook.
Our evening meals are much lighter. Now we don’t feel as sluggish at night. What may seem obvious to some people, simple didn’t register with me at first. Now, even when we eat at home, we much prefer to eat our heavier meals earlier in the day.
I’ve always been a traditional cook, never straying far from the standard meats, vegetables and seasonings. Learning to use less salt was easy. However, experimenting with different vegetables and spices hasn’t been easy for me.
My husband, bless his heart, is much more welling to experiment than I am. He eats what I put in front of him and has been brave enough to make a few suggestions. One of the most important changes is the introduction of broiled or grilled fresh salmon. (You mean salmon doesn’t grow in a can?) We like fresh salmon so much that we try to have some at least three to four times a month. This is an easy dish. Lemon juice and Mrs. Dash put on the salmon just before cooking is what I first used. We can very the flavor with other spices. I don’t even buy canned salmon anymore.
Now I’m trying to decide what new dish to try next? At least I know hubby will try it. As a matter of fact, he may even help me cook.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
It's Worth the Struggle
For the past few months, some of my friends and I have worked on an anthology, “It’s Worth the Struggle: Inspiration for Contemporary Writers.” The idea for our book came from a group discussion about our writing experiences. We hoped to inspire others by sharing our stories. When we sent a “call-out” for other writers to share their writing experiences, we were pleased to accept over twenty essays. Serious, funny and inspiring essays fill the pages of the anthology.
Upon reading and helping edit the essays, I was inspired to compile a workbook to accompany the anthology. Using direct quotes from the authors’ essays, I wrote an assignment for each quote hoping to encourage people who have contemplated giving up their dream of writing. The workbook, with lined pages, will be small enough to keep in a purse or brief case. Our book launch and silent auction is planned for Friday, September 12, 2008 at the Southfield Parks & Recreation Building in Southfield, Michigan.
The tension and excitement is growing over our project. We’re hoping for a large, turnout at “An After-Work Affair.” Hopefully, all of the writers will be able to attend to allow people to meet the authors. One of the contributors will travel a great distance to be a part of the book launch.
I’ve always wanted to write. Retirement has given me the luxury of doing just that.
Upon reading and helping edit the essays, I was inspired to compile a workbook to accompany the anthology. Using direct quotes from the authors’ essays, I wrote an assignment for each quote hoping to encourage people who have contemplated giving up their dream of writing. The workbook, with lined pages, will be small enough to keep in a purse or brief case. Our book launch and silent auction is planned for Friday, September 12, 2008 at the Southfield Parks & Recreation Building in Southfield, Michigan.
The tension and excitement is growing over our project. We’re hoping for a large, turnout at “An After-Work Affair.” Hopefully, all of the writers will be able to attend to allow people to meet the authors. One of the contributors will travel a great distance to be a part of the book launch.
I’ve always wanted to write. Retirement has given me the luxury of doing just that.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Get a Life
One excellent way to say, “No,” to people who think they have a right to your time is to get a life. If you are busy, people can’t readily intrude on your time. People who plan for retirement usually plan financially, but not socially. You now have time to pursue a hobby, take a trip or study a subject you’ve never had time to pursue.
Photography had always been important to my father. Upon retiring, he took a class in photography and eventually had some of his work on display at an art exhibit. My mother took up jewelry making and taught other residents at her senior apartment building to make necklaces, bracelets and earrings. One senior who had arthritis said jewelry making helped her regain some of the flexibility in her hands. Mother took macramé classes and made macramé gifts for family and friends. Now she makes and sells candy containers decorated like adorable little dolls.
One of my many pursuits is studying genealogy. The classes and workshops I’ve attended have helped me discover information on my ancestors. My goal is to learn as much as I can and to publish the results for our family’s future generations.
Finding a pursuit that pleases you may take time. Try more than one hobby or activity and enjoy this part of your life.
Photography had always been important to my father. Upon retiring, he took a class in photography and eventually had some of his work on display at an art exhibit. My mother took up jewelry making and taught other residents at her senior apartment building to make necklaces, bracelets and earrings. One senior who had arthritis said jewelry making helped her regain some of the flexibility in her hands. Mother took macramé classes and made macramé gifts for family and friends. Now she makes and sells candy containers decorated like adorable little dolls.
One of my many pursuits is studying genealogy. The classes and workshops I’ve attended have helped me discover information on my ancestors. My goal is to learn as much as I can and to publish the results for our family’s future generations.
Finding a pursuit that pleases you may take time. Try more than one hobby or activity and enjoy this part of your life.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Learn to say, “No.”
During the second year of my retirement, I received a telephone call asking for a favor.
“Could you please come to my school to be our permanent substitute?”
Taking a deep breath before answering, I knew that my response was not what he wanted to hear. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to sub.”
“But you’re really needed. If you don’t want the job permanently, you could be an on-call sub.”
“Look, if the teachers are throwing a party, call me. If you want a sub, lose my number.”
He laughed and said, “You must really enjoy retirement.”
Oh, yes, I am. As much as I enjoyed teaching, I’ve discovered that there is a life during retirement. One of the biggest problems during this time is that people will ask for a favor then make you feel guilty for saying, “No.”
Get over it! Don’t let people use up your time and energy. Practice saying, “No,” in the mirror until you perfect the skill. Having a hard time with that? Try saying, “I’ll get back to you on that when I check my schedule.” Then decide if the favor is something you really want to grant. But be careful that the favor is a “one time” thing and not an on-going responsibility. It is okay if a parent, adult child, grandchild or close friend wants a favor and you say, “I can’t do it at this time.” Simply put into your schedule the times when you will be available to do something for them if you wish. I’m not telling you to be selfish; I’m just suggesting that you guard your precious time carefully.
Don’t give concert reasons for not granting the favor. That’s when others will say your reason isn’t good enough. Try saying, “I’m already committed on that day.” Don’t feel that you must justify your every activity.
Remember you’re retired. You are your own boss. Use time wisely.
“Could you please come to my school to be our permanent substitute?”
Taking a deep breath before answering, I knew that my response was not what he wanted to hear. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to sub.”
“But you’re really needed. If you don’t want the job permanently, you could be an on-call sub.”
“Look, if the teachers are throwing a party, call me. If you want a sub, lose my number.”
He laughed and said, “You must really enjoy retirement.”
Oh, yes, I am. As much as I enjoyed teaching, I’ve discovered that there is a life during retirement. One of the biggest problems during this time is that people will ask for a favor then make you feel guilty for saying, “No.”
Get over it! Don’t let people use up your time and energy. Practice saying, “No,” in the mirror until you perfect the skill. Having a hard time with that? Try saying, “I’ll get back to you on that when I check my schedule.” Then decide if the favor is something you really want to grant. But be careful that the favor is a “one time” thing and not an on-going responsibility. It is okay if a parent, adult child, grandchild or close friend wants a favor and you say, “I can’t do it at this time.” Simply put into your schedule the times when you will be available to do something for them if you wish. I’m not telling you to be selfish; I’m just suggesting that you guard your precious time carefully.
Don’t give concert reasons for not granting the favor. That’s when others will say your reason isn’t good enough. Try saying, “I’m already committed on that day.” Don’t feel that you must justify your every activity.
Remember you’re retired. You are your own boss. Use time wisely.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Watch Your Money
Finances may be difficult for your children and/or grandchildren in college. Avoid cashing in your retirement money to help with college fees. Students can apply for scholarships, but there are no scholarships for retirees. Also the financial experts will tell you not to co-sign for a student loan, car loan, bank loan or even a mortgage for anyone. If that person fails to pay on the loan, you are stuck for the balance. It will also negatively impact your credit rating and a good credit rating is hard to come by.
Conduct serious discussions with your family members about their finances. Remind them that they must be careful with their finances because yours are limited. You’ve worked hard for your retirement and they shouldn’t expect you to keep bailing them out. They should be empowered to help themselves even if it is a struggle.
If you can afford to help someone financially without it causing a hardship, feel free to do so. But never loan any more than you are willing to lose. It is better to give a small money gift to a relative rather than loan an amount you can’t afford to give away. Unpaid loans can cause a serious break in your relationship.
Even if you have extra money, your family members don’t have to know how much. Remember: That is your money in case of emergencies like a trip to Europe. You worked hard for the money. Don’t just give it away!
Conduct serious discussions with your family members about their finances. Remind them that they must be careful with their finances because yours are limited. You’ve worked hard for your retirement and they shouldn’t expect you to keep bailing them out. They should be empowered to help themselves even if it is a struggle.
If you can afford to help someone financially without it causing a hardship, feel free to do so. But never loan any more than you are willing to lose. It is better to give a small money gift to a relative rather than loan an amount you can’t afford to give away. Unpaid loans can cause a serious break in your relationship.
Even if you have extra money, your family members don’t have to know how much. Remember: That is your money in case of emergencies like a trip to Europe. You worked hard for the money. Don’t just give it away!
Friday, August 1, 2008
The Sandwich Generation
At a time when some people want to retire, their finances, time and energy are spent on their elderly parents as well as their own children and/or grandchildren. These people are too often caught in the middle of extra responsibilities from the other generations and tend to postpone their own relaxing retirement. Or if they have already retired, they can’t enjoy themselves because of pressing family obligations.
These people are part of the Sandwich Generation. Someone once said, “I feel like the baloney between two slices of bread.” When you feel the pressures from both sides, you must step back and reassess your situation. With parents living longer and adult children returning home often with their own children because of the struggling economy, what can you do?
You must make a plan that allows you to maintain free time to yourself and not be seen as an uncompensated, always available babysitter. You’ve raised your children; now they must raise their own. Arrange to keep your grandchildren on occasions as long as your children understand that the primary responsibility must be theirs. Some adult children assume Grandma is always available and they don’t bother to politely ask for compensated babysitting services.
Also find activities at a senior center or with other relatives for your elderly parents so that you are not totally responsible for them 24/7. If they are unable to go out because of health issues, have a trusted relative or friend stay with your parents so that you may have free time to yourself. Many cities and religious communities offer these types of services.
The caregiver who does not take care of herself wears out and will then need a caregiver of her own. This would apply to men also; but we know in our society the care giving usually falls to the woman regardless of whose parents are in need.
These people are part of the Sandwich Generation. Someone once said, “I feel like the baloney between two slices of bread.” When you feel the pressures from both sides, you must step back and reassess your situation. With parents living longer and adult children returning home often with their own children because of the struggling economy, what can you do?
You must make a plan that allows you to maintain free time to yourself and not be seen as an uncompensated, always available babysitter. You’ve raised your children; now they must raise their own. Arrange to keep your grandchildren on occasions as long as your children understand that the primary responsibility must be theirs. Some adult children assume Grandma is always available and they don’t bother to politely ask for compensated babysitting services.
Also find activities at a senior center or with other relatives for your elderly parents so that you are not totally responsible for them 24/7. If they are unable to go out because of health issues, have a trusted relative or friend stay with your parents so that you may have free time to yourself. Many cities and religious communities offer these types of services.
The caregiver who does not take care of herself wears out and will then need a caregiver of her own. This would apply to men also; but we know in our society the care giving usually falls to the woman regardless of whose parents are in need.
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